It may not sound like something you’d expect to be a successful strategy for getting your ex back, but it works really well to cut off all contact with your ex for about a month after the breakup. This has a number of good reasons behind it, and here are just a few.

1) If you’ve been fighting with someone, isn’t it usually helpful to take a break from them rather than risk even more fighting? This is definitely the case for freshly broken-up couples, especially when you intend to eventually give it another go. Staying in each others’ faces will just cause more conflict, so break it off for about a month.

By the time the month is over, everyone’s temper should have cooled off, and some real thinking to have started. A calmer head and a willingness to work on things is far more likely, and far more beneficial to the process of fixing your relationship and getting back together.

2) Even if you two are on good terms still, being together after the breakup has other effects that can make it harder to get him back. Think about it, how much will your ex want you back in his life if he feels you never left his life? That’s how it can end up feeling if you’re still together after you separate.

A couple quotes for you: “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” Being so close to one another for so long makes it harder to notice the great things about being together. When you two are forced to be apart, your ex actually gets the opportunity to miss you…and often that ends up making the situation sink in a lot deeper, and makes mutual agreement to get back together a lot easier.

3) Another benefit of being apart is that you have some time without pressure to organize a plan and figure out exactly what you need to do to get him back. Without him right up in your face, it’s easier to think and make decisions based on what your reasoning tells you, and not what your heart forces you to do.

It’s a tricky thing to get somebody back after a blowout…people in pain behave differently than you may expect, and the right actions to get the right result may not be what you anticipate. Having a preset plan that has worked out what you need to do ahead of time will help prevent you from doing the wrong thing on the spur of the moment, even if it seems like the right thing at the time.

Any person fresh out of a breakup with the intention to get her ex back should take this advice seriously. You’ve seen a few of the reasons, so I’m sure you understand the benefits of this separation…actually doing it can be hard. It’s tough to be apart from the person you care for, but in some ways that’s what you’re banking on. Just rest assured that this will help, and when you get through it you’ll find it much easier to find happiness again with your ex. I wish you the best of luck.

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